I rolled on the random life table, I rolled poorly.

Summary: As title suggests, just a short random post about where I’m at in life and the state of the blog.

 Dante Alighieri's "Inferno, Plate 9, Canto III - Charon" by Gustave Doré

So yeah, it has been quite a while since the last post and even farther away in time since the blog had any form of regularly scheduled publications. And now it’s symbolically the end of the year, so it’s time to make some promises to myself and try to stick to them... or, you know, break them just for some added frustration.

The funny thing is that this blog started during the height of the pandemic and the creative outpour from my brain has been at an all time high back then. I ran two parallel short campaigns (one LotFP and one good old pure B/X), I played at several other tables, I wrote a lot, I worked out and was in probably the best physical and mental shape of my life. Seeing how 2020 and adjacent years have been shit globally, I think I was doing quite alright at the time.

What has changed since then (and by "then" I guess I mean this blog post, which was funnily enough also a personal update)? Well, quite a lot actually. And overall, it’s not that I’m doing bad now per se, it’s just that my life took several 180 degree swings and left me hanging upside down. In short, my wife, our cat, and I managed to complete the bureaucratic triathlon and thus finalize the change of our country of residence. Experiencing life in an entirely new environment is an adventure in its own right, quite challenging at times, but ultimately enjoyable. We've both settled in nicely and we love every second of it. The cat is also living her best life basically.

All positive things above, but with a much worse flipside. My father passed away 2 years ago, which was rather sudden and a shock bigger than I expected. Then only a year later, my mother got permanently hospitalized due to overall bad health (largely triggered by the death of my father). She passed away a month ago. 

Experiencing these two things has been made even worse by the actual move, since I’ve been removed from my friends, been departed from my partner for extended amounts of time due to the aforementioned bureaucracy, and was in general physically away from my support network… honestly no idea how I survived and processed the emotional and mental turmoil. And it is amusing how the good old brain always focuses on the extreme negatives, instead of clinging to the positives.

Not to dwell on it too long here, but it has been rather tough, to say the least. Naturally, most of my creative output has stopped and I’ve only indulged in some weekly role play sessions in my friends’ campaigns, just to keep my sanity in check. RPGs save lives, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Life is slowly stabilizing and the juices are starting to flow again. On a whim I started running a game for a couple of friends each time I visit my home town and I’ve instantly realized how much I missed DMing. That alone made me want to come back to the blog. I have a whole backlog of things I want to write about, both for this blog and some new blog projects which I have had in the pipeline for a long time now. Also, I’ve been slowly (too slowly) working on material that I want to submit to a publisher and try to go to print, hopefully next year. And yes, I know that I've already tooted this horn before as well... but repeating it enough times and I might just finally spring into action.

But until then, thanks to whoever gets to read this. It obviously means you check this blog from time to time and I greatly appreciate that effort. Be good.